Thursday, September 8, 2011

Yes, That's My Family - 10 Stupid Things People Say to Us.

My husband and I have been experiencing an interracial marriage for over 27 years, have two kids, and during that time, we have had people come up to us and say some really stupid things. Usually, they start with, "I am not a racist, but..."

What people have said to me:

1) Is he/they with you? 'He' in this instance is Buzz, my husband, and 'they' refers to my kids, or my kids and my husband, or my relatives on my husband's side who are black.

2) Couldn't you find a white guy to marry? Apparently not. I polled all the white men in the world of marriageable age and none of them would marry me, so Buzz got me by default. Yes, I am being sarcastic here!

3) How could you bring bi-racial children into the world? People think that because we had two children, they are scarred for life. My daughter and son, who call themselves 'brown' when they refer to their race, are well adjusted, happy adults who think that being two races is an advantage.

4) When you and your husband get into a fight, do you call him a nigger? What the heck? It never crosses my mind. Obviously, if I was of the ignorant mindset that I thought that Buzz was a nigger, then I would not have married him. Duh!

5) White women shouldn't have black children because they don't know how to take care of their hair. Really? I did not realize that top hairdressing skills were a requirement for being a mother.

6) You kids are so cute! Where did you get them? I stole them from a black woman when her back was turned? I must admit that it is funny sometime to see the expression on people's faces when they realize that I am the kids' biological mother. The most hilarious times were when my kids had Halloween parties and I would go to the door, dressed in a costume. Sometimes, people thought I was the maid.

What people have said to Buzz:

1) What's the matter, aren't black women good enough for you? The irony in this is that there were some black women who would not date Buzz when he was single, because he was too dark. Buzz explained to me that it is a mindset from the slave days, when darker skinned people who looked like him worked in the fields, while the lighter skinned slaves worked in the house and were higher up in the slave hierarchy.

2) Some of my best friends are black. Really? Why didn't you mention that some of your best friends are white? Buzz and I think that if you single out someone by race, you are not as close to that person as you try to appear.

3) I have nothing against black people, but I wouldn't want my daughter/son to marry one. What people who say this are REALLY saying is "As long as black people stay away from me, I don't have a problem with them, though they are inferior to me, a white person."

4) Why is it that black men are always (choose one) good dancers, good athletes, good musicians, or are well endowed? Being black is not easy. You have to enroll in "Black School" at an early age, where there is rigorous training in music and athletic abilities. Black men that are not well endowed are banished to a secret location, to live a obscure life of shame.

I made sarcastic comments because we think that the things people ask are mostly funny. There are some things that hurt my feelings in the past, but now, I just look at the person who is making the comment and feel sorry for them.

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