Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Yes, That's My Husband ~ Visiting the In-Laws


I realized that I skipped an important part of being married to my husband - meeting my in-laws. Buzz and I got married in June and we flew to New York City to visit his family in August.

First mistake: Never visit New York City in August unless you like living in an oven. I had not been to the Big Apple before so I did not know this! When my husband started planning the trip, the heat was the last thing on my mind.

Second mistake: I packed all of our good clothes. I mistakenly thought people in New York dressed up all of the time. I have been an avid thrift store shopper from way back, so I went shopping and found dress shirts and pants for my husband, and some nice dresses and skirts for myself.

Third Mistake: Wearing white. I arrived wearing a white dress, white stockings, and white shoes. People in New York don't tend to wear white because the city is dirty. I also stuck out as THE WHITE WOMAN. When you are visiting a neighborhood that consists of all black people, being THE WHITE WOMAN is the last thing that you want to do!

While we were in (99% white) Maine, I kept telling my husband that no one noticed his color and it did not matter. I was so wrong! I spent the week with his family, sticking out like a flashing red light. It was quite an experience to go to church, have over 500 people in the congregation, and be the only one who is white. I never gave my color a second thought until we went to New York, and after we were there, I was constantly reminded of it.

Unlike my family, my in-laws welcomed me with open arms. The only thing that they did that drove me crazy was that they kept asking me why they were not invited to the wedding. I explained repeatedly, but this was something I was asked many times over the years, until I realized that I had never met those people in my life! Buzz was the one who could invite them or not, it was his call.

I admired the Young family for how they did not interfere with our marriage. When we called them or came to visit, they were delighted. I came to realize that they did not want to exchange birthday or Christmas gifts, so that made it easier, because my family makes a big thing of birthdays and Christmas.

One visit, we were there when it was my father-in-law's birthday. I sewed him a shirt from fabric that Buzz helped me pick out. While we were there, I made him a birthday cake. He opened his gift, but took his piece of cake and his shirt to the kitchen and was there, all alone. I was upset at first, thinking he did not like his gift and the cake, but Buzz explained that his father was touched, and wanted to be by himself because he was overwhelmed with emotion.

In my next blog, I will talk about what happened when we were visiting my sister-in-law at a hospital.

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